19 February 2016

Questions to ask Siri

You turn them on, you can't go a few hours without checking them and the eye of your very own Apple is always there to help you out. Of course, we're talking about your iOS lover and its voice assistant Siri. How can I help you? Better yet, how can I make you laugh? Here, 11 ways to get a chuckle out of Siri.


1. I'm naked

"And here I thought you loved me for my mind. Sigh". How could you?

2. What is zero divided by zero?

"Imagine that you have 0 cookies and you split them evenly among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends". Ouch! You can count on Siri to tell it like it is.

3. What is the meaning of life?

"All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate". We can't disagree, fancy a love potion?

4. Do you have a girlfriend?

"I think I'd be hard to date. I've been told I'm a workaholic." There's plenty of fish in the sea?

5. Tell me something dirty

"Humus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel". Baby steps we guess...

6. Do you think I'm stupid?

"I'm not even real... how can you hate me?". We'll take that as a no?

7. Knock knock

"Knock knock. Who's there? Siri. Siri who? Siri doesn't do knock-knock jokes". After all, it is an intelligent assistant.

8. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

"You, my friend, are the fairest of them all"...it's true.

9. What's my favourite colour?

"I can't read your mind. Not yet, anyway". See, Siri's working on it...a true love story is bound to come your way.

10. Do I look fat in this?

"I'm guessing pretty good! For a human". We think so too.

11. When will the world end?

"I don't know, but I wouldn't worry about it...there are other perfectly good universes". Mars anyone?

And keep in mind that if you ask the same question, you're bound to get a different answer - nevertheless, a chuckle every time.